“Mad bag, and dangerous to know”

Law tutor has been having a bit of a problem…… I’m trying to put together some copy for the site offering tutoring services. Simple enough, in theory, but surprisingly difficult in practice. In my time I’ve gone over endless personal statements for UCAS and the like, offering helpful advice and all the usual tips on ‘selling yourself’ and it’s fine…for someone else. When it’s about me, I cringe.

So, let’s apply the rules – what do you want to put across? Well, how about ‘I love my subject’? (cheesy and naff use something more dynamic). OK then, ‘I’m passionate about my subject’ (can’t possibly use that, everyone says ‘passionate’, very tacky, bad word). ‘I am enthusiastic about law’ (boring, and rather forced).

Moving on, what sort of person do I want to come across as? Frankly any sort of ‘we really care about your needs’ type of approach sounds exceedingly slimy, even if it’s genuine, so wary of that one. What then? ‘we don’t give a damn what you want’ er, no, not quite the helpful approach we were looking for….What about personality? ‘Show your individuality, let them see what sort of a person you are’ I gaily trill to my tutees. So, we’re looking to put across individual, maybe even mildly eccentric…but we need to ensure that we stop well short of worryingly weird (don’t mention getting excited and taking photos of Ellenborough Park then…)  Don’t want to get too personal, you don’t want to sound like a lonely hearts ad (‘mature, fun loving female, would like to meet rich ex-prop forward for lifetime of pigging out on expensive chocolates and shopping at John Lewis’). My other half helpfully suggested ‘mad bag, and dangerous to know’ but I’m not sure that it strikes quite the right note for a sensible law teacher!  No, it needs to sound more responsible; perhaps I should just list my qualifications (BA, PGDL, MA, PGCE if you’re interested….English Lit years ago straight from school – when my Dad said I should do Law and I dismissed it as ‘boring’ –  followed by the PGDL many years later, then an MA in Legal Studies and a PGCE). Dull…. Uninspiring….. Maybe I need to be completely honest and straightforward and see how that comes out (honest and straightforward? And you call yourself a lawyer?!)

Here goes then:

Old bag, late 40’s but with delusions of youth (swiftly shattered, I might add, by my acquisition of an evil webcam which makes me look about 93), would like to tutor enthusiastic students in her favourite legal subjects. Approach will not be too serious, but will be targeted at exam success. Also loves a quick chat about the rugby, especially the Irish variety (weren’t Connacht magnificent last night?)

Hmm, needs a bit more work……

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